In my last post, I mentioned that sometimes blogging can be a great way to share ideas and experiences with others. My friend Adam, who recently moved to Valencia, agreed to share some of his ideas. Here’s part two:
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I don’t know much about Buddhism, but I remember reading something about it (online, don’t be too impressed) during a stressful time in my life. It teaches that suffering is caused by attachment, so one reduces suffering by losing one’s attachments. This can be applied to a lot of things: The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship. Obviously it also applies to belongings. Perhaps more than ever for the modern American, who is indoctrinated from day one with almost the opposite message, that attaching one’s self to as many new things as possible will somehow make one happier. So, if you’re thinking of moving abroad, you’ll endure an exercise in amateur Buddhism by diminishing your attachments to things.
But it goes beyond things and people and jobs. It also means losing your attachment to outcomes and preconceived notions. This is key. For instance, I had a stressful week finding an apartment in València. I knew it would be a challenge but was not prepared for exactly how it would be challenging. For a while I thought I might have to run up a bill at an airport motel just to get by another few days. I also thought for a moment that maybe I’d simply made a huge mistake moving abroad at all. To change my perspective, I had to lose my attachment to the outcome I had in mind, and prepare myself for whatever was to come. I did find a place, but losing attachments to expected outcomes has helped keep me grounded in a foreign city with a different language.
If you’re reading this and you’ve already decided to move abroad, congratulations. That is of course the biggest decision, and it’s not made lightly. Now that that’s out of the way, get ready for a lot of small ones. Don’t worry, I’m sure wherever you’re going they sell beard trimmers.
Gentle readers, did you enjoy this guest post? Let me know… and check out Adam’s blog, Exile in Iberia, at https://exileiniberia.wordpress.com/
I have broached the subject with my wife of moving to Valencia. She didn’t get on Amazon and order a strait jacket, so that was a good start. I am five years from age 62 and intend to retire then. We fell in love with Spain when we spent a month there in the fall of ’17. Ironically, we didn’t make it to Valencia but it popped up on my radar when I started thinking seriously about this. Madrid and Barcelona are too big and expensive. I’d love to live near the ocean. And Valencia has everything we want in the way of culture and gastronomy.
There is so much about life that the Spanish do so much better than Americans. Eating, drinking, working, playing, I am so enamored of the Spanish way of life. And not to get political, but I am embarrassed and borderline ashamed of my country right now.
I want an adventure for the next part of my life, and Spain is calling!
I guess there is no real point to this email. I just enjoyed reading your post. I’m entering the zone of immersion in things Spain so we know what we are getting into. I’ve done a ton of history reading and am fascinated by the country’s past. Now I figure I need to start getting advice from people who have done this. Thanks for posting, Christopher. Salud!
Well, I think having a new adventure at almost any age is a good thing… and I would be happy to share more with you privately. In the meantime, good luck with your ideas! I took three years to get ready to go to Spain, and now I know that I could go tomorrow and be happy. Suerte!
I would be very interested in talking to you in more depth away from the forum. How would I go about getting you my email address?
We are most ilkey moving to Spain or Portugal in about two years from the US and will be headed to Valencia this August to check it out. It ticks a lot of boxes and similarly to Scott, above, we are ready for the coast, the lifestyle, and leaving American politics.
We are in our mid 60’s and are both hoping to start some business there. I am a private chef and my husband is a contractor/handyman person. We thought we might start an air bnb business, something small. But that’s for down the road, my question to you is: how long did it take to make friends and how well do you speak Spanish? Also, did you find the Valenciana friendly to Americans? Thank for the blog, it’s all very interesting.
Hi, Amanda, and thanks for the comment! I definitely think that Valencia is a great place to check out while making decisions about moving to Europe. It sounds like you have some business ideas underway, but I really can’t speak to that, since I was working as a contractor in the US and it didn’t really matter where I was staying, as long as I had internet service. You are not alone in the idea of setting up an AirBnB, especially since the tourist industry in Valencia is booming right now. It did not take me long to find friends because I was quick to get involved with Internations (even before I moved there!) and learned some Spanish before arriving. I also participated in a number of social events through Yelp (sadly not in Europe any longer) and Meetups.
The Valencianos are quite friendly in general, and I didn’t have much of a problem making friends. I know at least one person who has joined a women’s group after just moving to Valencia, and is finding it quite rewarding, as the group is in English and she is still learning Spanish. It really comes down to finding social groups, and there are a number of online groups that can help. Internations, Meetups, and Facebook (I’m assuming… I don’t have a FB account) are all ways to get connected.
The other thing worth noting is to be part of festivals and local events. If nothing else, you see something new and you have opportunities to go with larger groups, as there are often expat meetups that will go to bigger events together.
Finally, Spanish. I am a huge fan of Fluenz, a language learning tool that is designed for adult language learning. It really made a difference for me. However, there are lots of ways to learn Spanish… the real challenge is to just get started.
Want to continue the conversation? I’ll send you an email and we can go from there.
Suerte!
Christopher
I didn’t ask you about language learning, Christopher. I’ll check out Fluenz.
Amanda, I’d love to hear about your experiences, leading up to and while you are in Valencia. I’m eyeballing October for a scouting trip of our own. Hearing your story could prove very helpful to us. We’d be most appreciative.